18 March 2010

Ernest asks…

What’s worse than seeing the driver in the speeding taxi you are trapped in whip out his mobile phone and start a conversation?”

My worst was the guy driving me from Entebbe to Kampala who decided to show me a Ugandan music video on the PORTABLE DVD PLAYER INSTALLED IN THE FRONT OF HIS CAR.

Taxi Driver: “Oh watch this bit its really good

Me (in my head): “No!! Watch the fucking road you maniac!!

Me (actually): “Er, yeah… that’s nice…

My favourite Ugandan music video I saw about 5 times on a long bus journey a few years ago. The lyrics went something like “O mama I married a Mzungu (White person), please forgive me, he doesn’t know our ways, he doesn’t eat matooke (mashed banana), but I love him anyway,” complete with idiotic Mzungu in the video committing lots of social faux-pas. I would kill for a copy of that.

I also saw a good one in the Amen supermarket the other day which appeared to be showing the life of a Nigerian living in England. There were 3 scenes.

  1. Man rapping as walking down a London street being a parking inspector
  2. Man rapping as being the toilet attendant in a London club
  3. Man rapping as being pushed into police car

Anecdotally, African immigrants do seem to make up a disproportionate percentage of London parking inspectors and toilet attendants. I’d say approximately 99%. Probably because everybody hates parking inspectors and nobody wants to be a toilet attendant. No wonder the guy is getting arrested by the end.

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